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Writer's pictureDamon Mollenkopf

...Tax Dollars Aren't Only "Wasted" on Education. I'm Waiting for These Campaigns to Start Up.


This was inspired by a tweet-off my good buddy Lane Halterman and I had regarding the vitriol many in our community have over the upcoming school levy, and for fat-cat teachers and their enormous salaries. We’re wondering if they just hate teachers, or if these slogans will be forthcoming:


  • Potholes aren’t that bad

  • Trash is picked up too frequently

  • Firefighters and paramedics respond too quickly

  • My neighborhood is too safe

  • My water is too clean

  • My hamburger doesn’t give me enough explosive diarrhea

  • The city’s streets are cleared too soon after a big snow

  • Our library has too many books

  • I can’t find an unlicensed doctor anywhere in this town

  • There are too many parks in my neighborhood

  • There aren’t any smokestacks close to where I live

  • All these street lights keep me up at night

  • Traffic lights prevent intersections from being dangerous enough

  • My back yard isn't filled with enough mosquitos

  • My electricity is too reliable

  • What does somebody gotta do to find some asbestos, these days?


I'm looking for more! Feel free to respond to this blog with your submissions. I'll add them.



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